Quarter 1 Blog for Leadership

     It's officially been a full quarter for the first time this school year, meaning that the 1st quarter of this school year has just ended. And we are heading close to 2nd quarter, meaning that we are going halfway through the 1st semester Aswell. Lots of things had happened this quarter and I just want to talk about it. There's been a lot that happened in leadership since the first quarter, and I'd like to talk about it. Firstly, the scheduled pick-up, although I wasn't able to attend it; I suppose I know a bit about it. It was mainly about parents and students getting supplies for the upcoming school year, and although I couldn't attend, I suppose it was very challenging. There was a lot to work on and do, there had to be pictures taken, supplies given, and there were so many confused parents. Then there was the bio and question cube. I won't go into deep detail, but mainly these cubes are about specific information regarding us or someone else (specifically our teacher Mr. Ing for the question cube.) But the main difference is that for the bio cube, it was about us, but for the question cube it was about our teacher (Mr. Ing). Either way we both had to present it to the entire class, and it made me absolutely stressed because I decided to speak in front of people I barely knew. But it worked. After that was picture taking, which was a lot more relaxing. Picture taking insisted of us helping the photographer to take the students picture for things like the yearbook, pictures for the parents, etc. My job was mainly to just guide everyone to the stage to take pictures, and all I had to do was tell them to take off their lanyards and jackets and helped everyone to take their pictures. Shortly after that was the start of flag football, flag football is essentially just standard football but with flags. If you have the football and your flag is pulled or you pull somebodies flag who has the football, they're out. Essentially, it's a lot more challenging and difficult, but I wasn't there to play, I was there to watch. To go into more deep thought, the whole school played flag football, and there are 2 different types of flag football games throughout the whole quarter 1. The 1st type of game was more like doing your best, they got a score depending on how well they behaved and if they participated. Mainly I helped whoever was in my period with seeing if people either stepped out their boundaries, swore, or did any put downs. That was only the first type of game (the first one) the 2nd game mode occurred alter on in the school year, the 2nd to last week until fall break. The 2nd type of game was more competitive. It contained score boards and it made different teams like 8-1, 8-2, etc. We didn't really get a score for if they behaved well, however we did constantly tell them to not swear or make put downs. These games were super competitive and a caused a lot of chaos for people who supported different teams of students. I'm sure I saw a kid dump water all over somebody who supported another team. In the end, at first it was okay, but now it's a lot more chaotic towards the end of the 2nd type of flag football. During that were also some other things, specifically for GT. GT is Gifted and Talented, which collaborates with leadership. GT includes some more responsibilities, and this quarter I had to go along with other Ilima GT students to Honouliuli Intermediate School for the track race. We had to film our school's track team and edit a video for it. Going to the school was pretty fun, we recorded and filmed some stuff that we prepared to show to Ilima's YouTube channel. It was super fun to edit it, and I enjoyed doing it a lot. Besides that, that was mostly what happened this quarter. However, something upcoming is an annual event called the retreat. It's like camping and helps to improves relations with all the leadership students. Our whole period decided to get ready for some upcoming events there, like a baking contest and a dance routine for a talent show. It's all that happened this quarter, and perhaps a lot more things will happen next quarter.

(The bio cubes that were one of our

very first projects)

    There's a lot of major highlights and low lights this quarter, which will probably take eons to type out, but I'll say the main things. Mainly, one of the many major highlights was meeting my period. Although I don't talk much, especially when I first met them, they're all super nice or enjoyable to be around with. I don't know if we can consider each other friends, but they're amazing peers to work with and be around. Although yes there's complications and honestly, I feel like I drag the team down. It's not always good to assume something about yourself or others that you aren't even assure of, but then again, I won't have my doubts (yes, I overthink a lot.) Another highlight may have been that I feel contributed to Ilima. It feels good to know that I'm helping the school in some way. Leadership is about helping out Ilima, and it feels good to contribute something. If I'm being honest, it's been rough at home. Specifically like my brother, I don't want to be rude, but he's sort of lazy and doesn't exactly contribute a lot. He has to help with the laundry and other stuff, but he barely does it, and I ultimately get blamed for it as well. And there's just a lot of yelling and fights because of him at home, so it's good to be away and do something good whilst it happens. Especially because I'm in GT as well, meaning I contribute a lot more including serious issues like bullying or harassment and fixing those stuff. Another highlight could be that I'm more experience in a lot of things. Now because of leadership and GT, I'm able to edit videos successfully, understand how to use some more technology, and I'm able to perform for Ilima TV (the broadcast to tell the whole Ilima school news and information.) I'm very introverted, quiet, and keep to myself, so it's good to know I'm not as shy or embarrassed to do this kind of thing again. I will admit, my first broadcast was an absolute disaster, but it only improved me even more. My team was able to push me past my limits, and it helped me a lot. There're not many lowlights, but a lowlight may be that I didn't expect all this work. Yes, I understand that life isn't so easy, since 7th grade everything was super simple and there wasn't any extra work I had to do since my only concern was just my grades relying on schoolwork. Joining leadership had made me gotten my first B ever, however the grade isn't final so it might change, but the chances are sort of random in my own knowledge. It's a lot of work, like extra things to do during my normal breaks, and at first, I was confused on how my schedule was assigned because I didn't know they were given through text. I got confused, and I still am, and I'm too afraid to ask for help. Another low light is that leadership may have made me more insecure or embarrassed about myself. Leadership feels super important and screwing up is extremely humiliating since it's so extreme and super important. And because I'm new, it sort of happens frequently. It makes me think that because who am I or what am I if I can't do anything right. What if I'm useless or pathetic to my team, I feel insecure of my incapabilities and I don't know how or what to improve on. I feel ashamed, and I feel disappointed on who I am. It's stupid to think I'm in GT not even knowing what to do, it feels pathetic to ask for help; It feels embarrassing. I don't know if people are nice to me in sympathy or because they were empathetic. I like to contain myself in my own world with no thoughts but being with others and asking for help makes me feel insecure and concerned with myself. If I asked closed ones like my mom for help, they'd just make a blank threat. If I asked a random person, it's just uncomfortable and annoying. I just wish I would be more independent with myself than I currently am, and I just rely on closer friends like people online who I relate more to than real life. If I'm being honest, I vent to them more of them people in real life. But I can improve it probably.

                                         (My whole period who are a lot of great people)

This quarter has been super hectic, and all this writing it down is even more crazy, but I also learned something from all of this. To start it off, I thought that life in middle school would be really easy and simple. Classes weren't that difficult. and it's not as harsh as elementary teachers had told us. Including AVID (college preparation) wasn't as difficult as its name said. But joining leadership kind of just slapped me in the face. Leadership provided a lot more responsibility, and instead of realizing it as a benefit, I saw it more as something that was just a burden. However, I realized a much more harder truth leadership taught me. Leadership wasn't just making me more miserable so the teachers could do less work, (or maybe it is but) it allowed me to realize that I also have my major responsibilities. We all have to take part in our world to make it better or to just help others. You can't exactly set someone struggling to be set for life. But doing your best can allow little bits of responsibility from you help others. I learned that responsibilities are everywhere, and you must take pride in it. You can't rely on others, but you should always do you part to benefit in what is your job. Leadership let me realize I should also take part in work that benefits not me but others. It let me realize that life isn't easy, and it can't just magically turn better, but you can do your best to improve it by taking your responsibility and doing your best. This can help me with things in the future like college, or if my brother leaves for college (maybe if he goes to college at all.)

                                             (Responsibilities taken to help with GT

                                                                aka the schedule)

    Besides this quarter being absolutely hectic, there's also another question. What would I look forward to for the next quarter or just the future. Well, mainly I look forward to becoming a lot more responsible with my work and helping to chip in and do my best (whilst screwing up less). But I'm also look forward to retreat, I kind of really like to be outside, and considering its next to a beach and I'm very interested in marine life. I'm sort of stoked for it.